Into the Dark

Out of the Abyss, and Into the Jaws of Hell

2011-09-09T18:57:00.005+02:00

Oh, I have missed writing here. My slave did not work out (big surprise there), and then I had what could be construed as a nervous breakdown. See, Dommes are human too. It took Me some time to crawl out of the abyss, but I did it.

I recently started to Pro-Domme again, and had My first session today. I had a lovely man in his late 20's who just happens to be a died-in-the-wool masochist. Needless to say, My sadistic heart was all aflutter.

I named my Pro ad "Into the Jaws of Hell". It fits since My sadistic Beastie is yanking at her leash.

My ad has the above graphic to it, and states the following...

"The whimper, the sharp inhalation ending with a moan, the scream, the short staccato breaths... I thrive on these sounds, as I hurt you.

Whether you are my slave for an hour, a month, or a year, you will walk away remembering Me for the rest of your life. I will rock the foundations of your world.

Some of My favorites are corporeal punishment, cbt, nipple torture, fisting, and hard and deep strap-on.

My tribute is __________. If you are serious about a session, and think you can take what I bring, contact Me."

You'll have to let Me know what you think.

The young slave who came for a session today went home bruised and bloody. A beautiful sight for sore eyes. He wants more next time, and we are already planning his next sessions.

I am flying in Dommespace, and look forward to sleeping like the dead tonight.

I'll write more as I have sessions.

New slave

2011-04-20T14:57:00.003+02:00

I have a new slave... well, I've had him for a month, but I didn't say anything because I was afraid I would jinx it.

he's a lovely man who follows all of my commands, and orders to a tee.

I wish he was here today to lick all the sweat and grime off of me from working in the garden... like he did on Monday.

Here are a few photos of recent CBT. Enjoy!

Socks

2011-03-18T17:35:00.002+01:00

So, guess who contacted Me through My Pro ad? None other than whore. I knew that the minute I posted My ad, it would only be a matter of time before he felt compelled to contact Me, and contact Me, he did. I am seeing him on Monday.

As for the other clients, I am trying to set them up during the week, but I always have to drive to Vienna to have a session, since I don't want them in My house, as I do not have a dungeon here.

It would be lovely to find a garden slave. A obedient boy who could come and finish raking up My garden, and do some of the heavy stuff, so I can start on beautifying the space (I have a huge garden, and this year, I am determined to have an outdoor living space).

On a totally unrelated note, it drives Me mad when I see BDSM videos and the male is wearing socks. I always feel compelled to smack them upside the head.

Trying to get back in the game...

2011-03-13T15:48:00.003+01:00

It's been a hell of a Winter. I have not been in Domme mode all Winter, with the exception of once. I'm trying to start up Pro work again, but I've been out of the game for so long, that it's tough to find clients. I am no longer looking for a personal slave, as I am focusing on improving My marriage. It would be nice if My husband could be My sub, but he has the mindset that if I am his Domme I should be in control of everything, and I disagree. I think that a Domina should delegate the things that she is not the strongest in to her sub. Obviously I'm fighting a losing battle with him. Yeah, yeah, yeah, bitch, bitch, bitch.

I'm supposed to have two session next week. I hope that the clients do not flake out. The good news is that I am taking a German course, I am coming right along, so hopefully in the next couple of months, I can take on German speaking subs. That would improve My client base.

The cancer is still in remission, which I am happy about. I am determined that it stays that way.

Spring has already begun here in Austria, and I all my trees are budding, I have early Spring flowers beginning to grow, and just today I discovered the beginnings of daffodils & tulips under a tree. I'm staying busy working in the garden right now... it would be nice to find a sub who could help me with that. ;)

As I get more into Pro work, I will try posting My sessions here on My blog.

A New Year

2011-01-02T19:35:00.003+01:00

A new year has arrived, and I have plans.

1. I am going to beat the cancer.
2. My marriage will improve.
3. My new job (start on the 11th) will fulfill Me.
4. I will find a good slave that will round out My life (or My husband will start being My sibmissive again - which would be fab!!).

Tell Me your plans for the New Year.

Set Free

2010-12-04T22:29:00.002+01:00

In almost two months time, I only physically connected with pussyboy twice. I discovered that I simply could not count on him to commit to being the kind of slave that I require. Because of this, I released him today. I am not upset, or hurt, but rather, relieved.

he is a good man, just not the right man for Me. I wish him the best.

Now the hunt begins anew.

Moving Day

2010-11-19T22:55:00.003+01:00

I moved to a new blog today. My new blog, which I share with My slave, pussyboy, is named Depravity in Perversion,

Please stay tuned there.

I will still write from time to time here, so check back from time to time.

Long time, no see

2010-11-10T18:23:00.003+01:00

It's been a long time since I posted last. The reason is that I have nothing new to share.

The cancer looks to be gone, but I am still having thrice weekly injection of Interferon (and will for the next year). These injections are supposed to keep the melanoma from ever coming back. Let's hope it works.

Not much is going on with D/s in My life. I have recently given an ultimatum to K, to either physically train with Me, or go away. I'm not getting what I need from him... I never have.

soumis is training to be shipped out to Damascus as a U.N. soldier, so he's pretty much out of My life. I miss him, but I'm happy that he got this job. It will give him the means to fulfill his dreams.

Recently met a man that I find incredibly intriguing. We have no time to spend together right now as Autumn is his busiest time of the year. We're trying to find ways to work around that, as he wants to serve Me, and I really want to be served by him. I've named him pussyboy.... and trust Me, it fits him like a glove.

My marriage for the most is not a marriage. We no longer sleep in the same room, and sex has been pretty much non-existent for the last three years. It's like I'm living with a roommate... one that makes Me mental. I love him, but I am not in love with him. Things change, and we are both fine with this. We have decided on a completely open marriage... in other words we're married in name only. We're friends, and honestly, I think that's all we ever should have been.

I'll try to write more as My new relationship progresses.

Crawling back into the woodwork

2010-08-26T19:30:00.002+02:00

Hi girls and boys! Today's word for the day is "hell".

whore has decided to go kink free in order to appease his wife. I can understand that, and respect that, but on the flip side I am done with him. This is the second time he has walked out, and this time, I made sure to lock the door behind him. I'm tired of getting jerked around. he doesn't mean to do this, but because I really, deeply care about him, and have had him as My slave for the last 5 years, it hurts Me. Oh, hell!

My little love has gotten a job with the UN, and is leaving for Damascus in November for 1.5 to 3 years. I have really come to like this boy a lot, and now he is leaving too. What the hell?

So, as of November, unless I have found a slave to fit My needs, and one that I can enjoy, I am without a slave. Damn it to hell.

On the health front, I seem to be doing well. I am losing weight due to the injections, and eating healthy. I am only having one side effect to the injections, and that is fatigue, and only after My thrice weekly injections. All in all I feel good. The only thing that would make Me feel better physically is swimming more (I love the water).

Tomorrow I will go to the local BDSM club with My little love. I am looking forward to getting him all dolled up. he is such a pretty girl.

Well, at least I can look forward to one thing D/s wise in My life.

Hell... just hell.

Dreams

2010-08-02T15:58:00.000+02:00

I dreamed of you last night.

I had you laying on an inclined padded table, with your pussy in the air. your legs were wide spread and tightly tied to the bolts connected to the sides of the table... as were your wrists. I had slipped My open mouth gag behind your teeth, and finally you were ready.

I walked over to the door, turned the knob, and opened it. In filed 50 men with hugs cocks, and 50 women with huge strap-ons.

The games commenced, and you were fucked at both ends and filled with cum, until id was sliding down your legs, and out of the corners of your mouth. Then the women had their turn, and they proceeded to fuck you mercilessly, as their cocks did not cum. straddled our your body with vibrators and squirt their cum all over your back and head.

When everyone left, I just sat down and watched you while the cum dried all over you. I waited until you were miserable with the feel of cum dried all over you, and then I untied you and let you kneel atr My feet. I then proceeded to tell you how pathetic you looked being fucked by all those people, and that it goes to show you that you really are a cum loving whore. While you knelt in front of Me, I counted the money from the days proceeds of successfully whoring My sissy slut out.

It was a really great dream!

Health Update

2010-08-02T15:54:00.002+02:00

I am doing better, but I have to admit that I hate the Interferon treatment. I hate having headaches every day, and on the days of injection, extreme exhaustion and a fever. I spent one week with a migraine foe three days, and following on it's heels I had flu aches in my back, my ankles, knees and wrists.

The past few days have been much better. I feel on top of My game for the most part, but I get tired out easily.

I still have another year and 5 months to go with this stuff. I am only hoping that the doctor is correct and that the side effects will go away completely with time.

he's baaaaaaack!!!

2010-08-01T21:59:00.002+02:00

Yes, whore is back in My life. I won't go into the whole saga as to why he was away for so long, as it is his story, not Mine to share. I'm just pleased as punch that he's is back where he belongs... under My torturing hands. Goddess, I missed My whore!

I saw him last Friday, and we talked for an hour, and then played for an hour. he was pretty in a black and pink slip microdress, black opaque stockings, and heels.

I clipped his nipples with one of My evil pairs, and pulled and twisted, causing him to pant like a dog on a hot Summer's day. he always looks so ridiculous with his eyes rolling around in his head, his mouth hanging out, and his tongue sticking out everywhere.

I then fucked his pussy with My fleshy pink cock, until My wrist gave out, and from that moment forward I made him fuck himself, while I tortured his nipples.

There was some major CBT action with pulling hard on the foreskin, slapping his pathetic clitty, and ball squeezing. I loved the yelps of pain that went along with that!

Again, I have to say that it is wonderful to have him back.

I'll post in the next couple of days with a health update.

A whole new way to look at watersports

2010-08-01T08:43:00.002+02:00

This is from Sesame Street, and the title of this skit is actually named Watersports. Interesting how they are using a BDSM term in children's programming. I think they may have a couple of kinksters working at SS.

Update 3.July.2010

2010-07-03T08:37:00.003+02:00

Thank you everyone for your well wishes. I really appreciate it.

I have heard from the hospital that it looks like I am cancer free, but they can not give me a 100% definitive answer. This is because skin cancer is the highest risk cancer out of all the cancers, and it portrays itself as a normal looking cell, until it turns onto a tumor.

Because of this, I have further treatment to go through. I will be back in the hospital next Tuesday for 5-7 days to start Interferon Therapy. This is a type of immunotherapy. I will be very, very sick in the beginning of the treatment (and a very good possibility the entire length of the treatment - 1.5 years) with flu like symptoms (104F/40C temperature, body aches, the chills, headache, etc.).

I will be receiving three injections a week. My husband will be giving me the injections as there is simply no way that I can give Myself the injections. I am not looking forward to this at all.

On the D/s side of life, it seems that whore has walked out of our relationship. I have not received an email from him in weeks, though I send emails to him, or even a text message. I never thought he would be the kind of man to fall off the face of the Earth, never to be heard from again. I always thought he was better than that.

Needless to say, I miss him. I miss our sessions, our talks, and everything about him. It sucks that he just walked out without a word.

soumis still sees me every week to play. I have Myself a submissive boyfriend in him, and I am enjoying him. Unfortunately, if the Interferon makes me as sick as the doctors say it will, I will not be able to do much with him. That's okay with him though, as he said he will be just as happy to clean my house in order to help Me with my daily life. At least I have one sub that cares.

I will write more as I go through this. I will write about D/s in My life when it happens.

All My best wishes to My readers.

Post-op

2010-06-13T13:37:00.003+02:00

The operation is over, and I am recovering in the hospital. I am in pain off and on, but thankfully the meds they give me don't space me out. I have three long cuts in my thigh that are stitched and stapled, lots of swelling, a few blisters, and hematoma.

There were no complications with the operation, and I will get the results in 5-8 days (yes, I know that's strange). I did snap a photo with my mobile (which is the 2nd photo I have ever taken with my phone, as I prefer my camera) of my leg between bandaging (see above).

I am a sadist, and I don't like pain, or marks left on me. Now I get both, and let Me tell you, I do not like being on this side of the fence.

Since My grandmother had melanoma, I am genetically predisposed to it. I don't lay out in the sun, and I always wear 50 SPF when I am in the sun, and generally a large brimmed sunhat. I really believe that this happened from a tanning salon that I went to weekly for 20 minutes most of 2008.

If you tan in a salon, or lay in the sun without, at least, a 30 SPF, take a good look at the above photo... this could happen to you. Take care of your skin. I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

An update

2010-05-20T19:21:00.001+02:00

I went to the hospital, but they did not check me in. I will be checked in on the 3rd of June. In the meantime I have to have a lot (a lot) of tests done before I can even have the surgery.

I was told that I have high risk melanoma, and that the surgery is to check to see if it has spread. If it has gotten into the lymph nodes, I will have to have them all removed from the right side of top of my leg.

I am thoroughly frightened out of my mind, but am trying to remain positive. When I know more, I will let you know

There will be a lapse in writing

2010-05-20T10:17:00.002+02:00

I found out yesterday that I have Melanoma (skin cancer). I am being checked into the hospital today for two surgery and removal of a few lymph nodes. I don't know how far along the cancer has spread, and won't until after the pathology reports have come back after the operations.

If I have time, and I am feeling okay, I will drop a line here. If not, I will write again when I am home.

In the meantime, have wild, kinky D/s & BDSM fun.

2010-05-14T15:28:00.003+02:00

I'm back home from My overnight, and I had so, so, so, so, so much fun with the new boy. So much fun in fact that I am going to make him Mine next Wednesday!!

If there is one thing he needs to work on, it would be that when I am playing with him, he needs to stop joking. he is naturally a joker, and hysterically funny. I cannot remember a time when a boy made Me laugh so much... it was great!

I met him at the train station at 1530... and it was exhaustive trying to find one another. The train station is simply too big, what with the massive parking garage. I told him to meet Me at the entrance of the parking garage, but he misunderstood Me and was at the front entrance of the station. I had to walk through the P&R, past the U-bahn, went down an elevator, and then up another one, the walked to the back entrance (which I had always assumed that it was the only entrance to the station. We stayed in constant contact with each other, and finally found each other, and then we were off to his flat for coffee and cake (that he bought especially for us).

We hung out on the sofa afterward talking and laughing, and getting to know each other better. I got the grand tour of his flat, and decided he needs more green in his living room, so next time I am bringing him some dark green candles and holders, and a plant, or two (his flat is very white, and the living room is all light colors, with the exception of two photos... green is the color that is needed.

As evening fell, I straddled his lap, and a couple of minutes later I discovered that I was bleeding. One of My stitches popped (I had outpatient surgery last week), so we went to the hospital (two minutes away) and he fretted over it. I was cool as a cucumber, as I know that sometimes shit happens... you fix it, and then move on. he was so worried about Me... it was touching. The doc on call put some butterfly stitches over the wound, and then put a bandage on it. Then we went back to his place on My request.

Once we got back to his flat he scurried around making up the sofa for Me because he worried that with My wound, there would not be enough room in the bed (small bed), and I would end up getting hurt... next time we will share the bed. After he finished making up a bed for Me, we laid down on it and talked and touched... and then I bit him.

I couldn't help Myself... okay that's a lie. I could help Myself, but I didn't want to. his neck was right in front of Me, I could see his pulse beating, so I licked his neck, and then I bit it. he yelped a bit, but took the bite (and the future biting) like a champ. I lifter his shirt and bit all over his stomach, and the told him to lost his pants. I fondled his balls and gently bit the head of his cock. he said "Ow!" twice, and I told him that was enough, so instead he just mouthed "Ow!" periodically. Mostly I heard his sharp inhalations of breath whenever I bit him... I was completely and utterly aroused by biting him, and those of-so-sexy sounds.

I pulled him over onto his side, and started giving him a light spanking... that turned into a series of sharp slaps to his cute little ass. his tush was very hot under My palm, and though he did not like the spanking, he loved that it was bringing Me so much pleasure (same thing with the biting). he is the kind of slave I adore... one that finds his pleasure in Mine

After the spanking I ran My nails along the cheek that I reddened, and he exclaimed that it really hurt. I bit his chest and then lightly scratched him, and asked which hurt more. he didn't answer right away, so I bit him again, this time harder. he answered then that the biting hurt more, and I told him to remember that I could stop tormenting his cheek, and could go back to biting him, is he didn't hush. he quieted down after that.

We lay there touching each other, and I got a wonderful scalp, arm and hand massage from him. he told Me that he loves My hands and arms... It made Me smile... I love compliments.

Finally sleep overtook us, and I sent him to bed.

The next morning I woke up at 0700, and crawled into bed with the naked boy. I stroked and touched and fondles his body until he woke up, and out of the blue he said "Bite my neck" in a submissive fashion... obviously I did, and it rocked his boat. I was orally worshiped before breakfast, and then was fed.

Afterward to drove to Moedling and walked around the center, stopping for quick nibble and some coffee. We wandered around, taking our time, and enjoying the fact that there weren't too many people around because all of the shops were closed for the holiday (a Catholic holiday).

Afterward he drove Me back to My car, and we put My little suitcase in it, along with the strawberries we stopped at a stand to purchase. he said that he hoped I had a good time with him, and I replied Ï had a FABULOUS time with you!" It was true... still is.

Now we will see each other again next Wednesday, and I will be staying overnight then. I will be purchasing him a collar (in pink), and feminizing him next time... we are both excited at this prospect. I am excitedly looking forward to next Wednesday.

Shows promise...

2010-05-11T09:46:00.003+02:00

I met a slave on Saturday, this past weekend, in Vienna. We met at Starbucks and talked for a bit, and really hit it off. he asked Me if he could show Me his flat, so I went to check it out.

Once I was seated on the sofa, he just about crawled into My lap (it was just so natural for him to do that... so submissive of him). We spent an hour or so, just talking and getting to know one another on a Vanilla level... it was very enjoyable.

We clicked really well, so I am going back to Vienna tomorrow afternoon, and staying overnight to give him a trial. If he passes, then we will start dating, and there will be more D/s and BDSM to come.

he's shorter than I am, and has a slim build. Actually, he has the perfect build for a slave, in My opinion. I like smaller men (My husband is shorter and smaller than I am, and My previous slave before I met My husband was 5'5 to My 5'10). I love being able to physically overpower them, and bend them to My will (literally!). This is where being a BBW really comes in handy.

This slave loves the artwork of Harukawa, and it was quite obvious that he was attracted to My form. he desired Me, and it was lovely.

I am looking forward to seeing him tomorrow. I am bringing a few pieces of My equipment, and can;t wait to get him on his knees, where he belongs.

I'll post again, after Thursday, and let you know how it went.

Leave no stone unturned...

2010-05-05T18:51:00.002+02:00

Aaaaahhhhh... the dramatics of looking for the perfect slave (or at least a slave that shows he has the potential to be molded into My perfect slave). If I haven't been dealing with drama, drama, drama, I have been on the receiving end of nuts and flakes (it's like a veritable bowl of muesli).

Searching for this submissive man seems like an exercise in futility at times. Just when I think I might have a gem on My hand, the male in question either becomes belligerent, scared of his own shadow (no chance for him to become eclipsed by Mine), or he realizes that he cares more about his girlfriend than he though he did (NO MORE SUBS THAT ARE INVOLVED WITH ANOTHER WOMAN!!!), or he goes "POOF!!" into thin air.

I have likened going through this search as a walk through swampland, where you run into a veritable number of icky creatures... swamp rats, snakes, toads, and once in a while you find yourself a frog. These days it's more like sifting through silt for a trace of glimmer, and hoping it's not fool's gold (or simply a yet another fool).

Do I sound a bit put off, and put out? I'm sure that I do, and that's quite simply because I am. I will continue the hunt though, as this submissive man has to be out there somewhere (and hopefully in Austria, near Me).

The good news is that I do have a meeting set up for Friday in Vienna (and no, it's not wolfgang, as he has pulled a disappearing act), and sometime in the next two weeks I have another meeting set up.

In the meantime, I will continue to push My ads forward the front on the sites that I have them on, and leave no stone unturned for that piece of gold that shimmers in both sunlight and grey skies.

Brad Paisley - "The Pants" - Cut x Cut

2010-05-04T18:53:00.000+02:00

Brad talking about his song "The Pants". Video follows below.

Brad Paisley - The Pants

2010-05-04T18:51:00.000+02:00

Just goes to show that who wears the skirt is the one who is always in charge!

I just love this song! I have been playing it over and over today in my car, and singing along with it. Enjoy!!

You Know You're a Domina When...

2010-05-02T17:00:00.003+02:00

Your kitchen sink is is full of dildos, anal plugs, gags, a rubber mask for piss play, and a Chinese teapot... all clean and sanitized!

The teapot is for enjoying a nice cuppa while gagging (or filling), and plugging, or fucking My slave.

You know you wouldn't want it any other way...

2010-04-30T13:48:00.001+02:00

Interesting how this song fits Me both Vanilla and D/s.

What a new slave needs to know - Positions

2010-04-29T16:06:00.002+02:00

A new slave must make himself familiar with all the positions that I require, as that he will be drilled on them, until he has perfected them.

Training - Section Two - POSITIONS

Position 1: Standing at Attention - This is where the slave is standing up with his hands clasped behind his head.

Position 2: Standing Relaxed . This is where the slave stands with his hands on his thighs.

Position 3: Kneeling Upright – At attention, hands clasped behind head.

Position 4: Kneeling - Waiting Position – slave may rest his buttocks on his heels and lay his hands on his thighs, palms up.

Position 5: Kneeling face down - Submission – KOWTOW Position – Arms are stretched out in front of you, hands are palm up, and your forehead is on the ground.

Position 6: Down on all fours - hands and knees, to be used as furniture.

Position 7: Stomach – Laying on stomach with legs spread and arms to sides, to be used for trampling, etc.

Position 8: Back – Laying on back with legs spread and arms to sides, to be used for trampling, furniture, face sitting, etc.

Position 9: Bend Down/Punishment / Inspection Position – Facing away from Me, bend at your waist, with legs straight, grabbing your ankles (if you cannot keep your legs straight and grab your ankles, grab the backs of your calves)

Position 10: Backside Presentation - Like KOWTOW face down position, but here you are facing away from Me.

What a new slave needs to know - Rules

2010-04-27T18:41:00.003+02:00

Potential slaves are heading to My blog to get an idea what I am like as a Domina, and what I am looking for in a slave. My next several posts will be covering what a potential slave need to know about training to become My personal slave.

So, onto Section One - RULES

1. I will allow no disrespect at any time.

2. you will be attentive to My needs first and foremost.

3. If you need to leave a room, you will ask for permission.

4. you will ask permission for everything, especially in the middle of a scene.

5. if you are out with friends or colleagues after work and I call, you will excuse yourself from the situation and take My call.

6. you will make time for Me to train you.

7. you will always use the toilet seated, including during urination.

8. Masturbation is strictly controlled and enforced, unless specifically stated otherwise. This can be anything from forced masturbation to not being permitted to masturbate.

9. you will wear a chastity device for extended periods of time if I deem it necessary.

10. you will always put the toilet seat down after using it.

11. you will sit down to urinate, whether you are alone, alone with Me, or in public restrooms.

12. If I am speaking you must be silent, even if you are speaking first. Never interrupt Me.

13. you will sit at My feet at all times, unless permission is granted otherwise.

14. you must thank Me for everything, whether reward of punishment.

15. you will keep your pubic area shaved on a daily basis.

16. you will be nude, unless I choose to have you dressed.

17. Furniture use will be not be permitted, unless I specify otherwise.

18. you will eat at the My feet, unless I tell you otherwise.

19. you will wear a collar in My presence.

20. When given a directive, command and/or order, you will do it immediately, unless I have given you a time frame to do it within. If you balk at following My order, immediate disciplinary action will be taken. If you do not follow through with an order, you will be punished.

21. you will write a daily diary entry online, at www.my-diary.org, where I have created an online journal for you. you may post ways to further your training in your journal. you will keep a log of "transgressions" in your journal.

22. If you have a question during training, you will first ask for My permission to pose said question.

23. your opinions are kept to yourself unless I ask for them while we are training, or in a scene. you may however express your opinion in a respectful manner within the confines of your online diary. Once I have read your entry, if I feel it is something that needs to be discussed, then it will happen.

24. you will learn the physical slavery positions that I will regularly demand of you. If and when I decide to add more positions to your training, you will learn them as well. In the beginning I will give you explanations on said positions and will expect you to practice/homework. you will know these positions. If you do not learn these positions, discipline will be enacted.

The Dark Side of the Moon - Words That Describe Me

2010-04-13T18:11:00.008+02:00

By Tess Kormak

Kinky
Pervert
Sadist
Dark
Delicious
Cruel
Deviant/Debauched
Wicked Dominant
Mistress
Master
Torturer
Sexy
Depraved
Naughty
Strict
Twisted

Now in Deutsch for My new slave that reads My blog, and quotes it back to Me (I expect you to come up with a good word for kinky.)

Pevers
Sadistin
Dunkel
Delicat
Grausam
Ausschweifend
Böse
Domina
Herrin
Master
Folterer
Aufreizend
Schlim
Frech
Streng
Verdreht

Quips

2010-04-12T00:44:00.001+02:00

Borrowed from Jaden Clay Tennant's site...

"Chain of command: I say it. You do it! End of chain."

"There WILL be pain involved . . . But only if you ask nicely"

"32 flavors and not one of them vanilla."

"I am sorry but the safe word is not "I forgot the safe word.""

"There is good pain, and there is really good pain."

"You would look great in tears"

"Who needs cable? Rope is strong enough."

"Don't torture yourself . . . that is my job."

"I tried self-restraint once, but I couldn't close the forth handcuff."

"It is all fun and games, then someone gets spanked."

"I only hurt you because I love the way you scream my name."

Real

2010-04-09T14:40:00.002+02:00

As you know, I was supposed to meet a potential today. As you can surmise, since I am here writing at 1441 (the meeting was set for 1330), I was stood up.

I'm not angry, I'm not disappointed, nor am I disgusted. What I am is confused. Why in the world would a sub want to stand Me up? If they are answering My ad, then I have to assume that they are serious (as My ad is very, very specific about what I am looking for).

I hear all the time from subs that the many of Dominas online are not really Dominant, and that they answered My ad because it seems that I am one of the few, rare Dominas that are real. Yeah?

The answer I give them is because I am for real. Baby, I'm as real as they come... and I don't give second chances.

The Search Continues

2010-04-08T16:37:00.002+02:00

I played with a lovely submissive last Sunday. There was hair pulling, biting, flogging, paddling and caning the inside of thighs, breath control (between My breasts), a little NT, and some CBT. It was a short time, but it took the edge off of the Beast.

After playing, we discovered that it was simply not the right fit for either of us. That's okay. This sub scratched My itch, and I am grateful for it.

I know that he reads My blog, and I want to publicly say that I wish him all the very best on his journey, and I know that he will find the Domina of his dreams.

Now I am on the search once more to find that perfect boy. I have some possibilities, but still need to meet them. I have one meeting tomorrow, and may set one up for this weekend.

There is a young one that I want to meet next week, but only if he can get his butt into gear and send Me an email explaining why he had to ask for a reschedule this morning (as we were supposed to meet today). If I get that email soon, I will meet him (he sounds like the perfect fit, but we will never find that out if he does not get on the ball with that explanation).

Finally there is one that is 2 hours away from Me, and is really interested in serving Me. he says that he is very flexible, but I am not sure that I want a slave that lives to hours from Me.

Oh yes, and z, if you are reading this, let's meet up this weekend and discuss possibilities. Send Me an email with your available times.

As you all know, I put this search on the back burner for a while. Now that Spring is here, the Beast needs to feed, and I need a proper personal slave to fit the bill.

I still have whore, and enjoy him immensely. I am not getting rid of him just because I want a personal slave. whore could be My 24/7 slave if there were not extenuating circumstances that prohibit him for doing so.

The life of a Domina is not easy when She does not have all the outlets that She needs.

Wish Me luck.

Beautiful Slavery

2010-04-06T15:44:00.003+02:00

One of the most beautiful poses of submission that I have seen in a while. I just wanted to share this.

Blood and Orgasms

2010-04-04T20:07:00.002+02:00

Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time. ~Author Unknown

Had a percussion play session with whore last week. I haven't played the drums in a while, and it just felt like it was time.

As always, I plugged whore first, but for a change, I slipped a strawberry flavored condom over one of My decent sized cocks. I then had the pathetic fuck kneel for Me and swallow My cock. whore sucked and licked and tried valiantly to deep throat it (he has yet to master that), but that was just not working for Me.

I decided to unbutton and unzip My jeans, and hold My cock against My crotch. This time, when whore started sucking, I was getting something out of it. I began to get wet, and grabbed the back of his head to force My cock deeper and deeper into his throat. Hearing him gag on on it sent delicious tingles down My spine.

I took My cock in My hand, and pulled whore's head back, and forced it deeper down his throat. Instead of him sucking on it now, I was fucking his mouth with it. he was gagging, tears were sliding down his face, as was drool, and he was snotting up. All this sounds gross, but it rocked My boat in a big way.

I finally released whore's head and handed him a tissue so he could clean up his face, and blow his nose. While he did that I removed the used condom from the cock, slid a fresh one on and handed it to him with the directions to fuck Me with it.

I was so hot AND bothered, that after a couple of minutes I came so hard that I physically lifted off the sofa. The orgasm was so powerful that My clit felt like it had been electrically shocked. It took Me a while to come back down to Earth, and function again.

I flogged whore for the rest of the session leaving his ass bright, bright red, and bleeding him... just a little bit.

Speaking of bleeding, I find that I want to delve more into that. I love blood! Now, isn't that a disturbing thing to say! LOL!!!

All in all, it was a very good session. I look forward to more of these intense sessions with whore.

Says it all...

2010-04-04T19:38:00.001+02:00

Mmmmm... shoes

2010-03-17T19:45:00.004+01:00

I was just sitting here thinking about shoes, and wanted to throw out a website to you, if you are even interested in buying Me a pair of shoes, lol (a Girl can dream, can't She?).

Deerberg sells the greatest shoes in My book. They are fit well, are extremely comfortable, and well made. Check out the website if you're interested... www.deerberg.de. I recommend the Vabeene and Birkenstock brands, if you have problems with your ankles, or knees (especially Birks). I love flat summer sandals, or one with a small wedge heel, and this site has a fantastic collection of them, as well as some great clothes.

I have a few pairs from there, one of which is these, except for it's bright multi-colored leather.

I can't wait until it's warm enough to wear them.

Cancellation - Rescheduling

2010-03-17T09:59:00.002+01:00

The meeting I was supposed to have today has been canceled due to sickness, and will be rescheduled next week. I'll write more about it at that time.

In the meantime, I will be keeping up with short daily posts, so I get back in the habit of posting on My blog.

Stupid Question

2010-03-16T16:59:00.002+01:00

I was recently asked "Do You bite?"

My reply was "A better question would be 'Have You been vaccinated?'"

The answer is yes to both counts. ;)

Lollipop

2010-03-16T16:51:00.001+01:00

I am not a fan of Hilary Duff.

With that being said, she looks so luscious here that I want to lick her like a lollipop.

Wet Panties

2010-03-15T20:56:00.003+01:00

I am in the mood... the mood for Sadism.

Something sparked in Me last week during My session with whore. Now I find Myself perpetually aroused at the mere thought of causing pain. I'm even being evil to My husband, and he just hates it.. but he gets to suffer for My needs until I can either get My hands on whore, of the man that I am meeting this week (who happens to be a masochist).

I find that any kind of pain that I can cause makes Me deliciously wet.

Now if this man that I am meeting works out, I may just have a slave and a lover on My hands. Just imagine, getting My pussy eaten while strapping My slave's back, digging My short, sharp nails into his ass and shoulders, and listening to him scream in My cunt.

Ah, now see what I've done. I need to go change My panties.

Emasculating Session - Words from whore

2010-03-14T17:57:00.011+01:00

Note - I edited this for whore. he wrote it without any prompting from Me, and sent it to Me. he forgot some of the details, which I added for him.

When he knelt on the floor facing away from Me, I had him stabilized... with all that extra weight, and the heels, he really needed it.

Also, I wish I would have taken a photo of his wrists chained behind his back... it's what tipped Me over the edge... Having him helpless in My clutches.

Master and i had an intense session this week.

She applied a heavy cuff with a tight ring on my balls, and then hung plenty of heavy OWK locks into it. She then applied Her most vicious nipple clamps to Me. It was already painful when she applied heavy nipple clamps on my tits, but then She decided to take two of the OWK locks that were locked on the ring around my balls, and attached them in the rings of the nipple clamps. Now i was in intense pain, and it took all my strength to take this pain.

Still fighting with the pain, Master had me slip on my heels, and then took my wrists and bound them together behind my back with a chain, the chain was secured with a lock... again. Master commanded me to kneel and bow down my head until i found a stable position on my knees and with my head on the floor. It was a very unpleasant position and, the pain seemed to be even more severe in this situation.

Then i felt a gloved hand with lube penetrating my ass, and i was in ecstasy. First Master plugged me, and then played with the locks on my clit and my nipples, until She felt i had been sufficiently stretched out. She pulled it out, and seconds later i felt a large dildo pushing up against My pussy and Master was saying "you have to beg Me for it whore. " So i started begging... this was not good enough for Her. "I am bored with you begging Me in English. Beg Me in Deutsch, so you can be eloquent about it." And begged i did "Bitte bumsen Sie Master bitte bitte mein Kätzchen. ich sehne mich mehr als irgendetwas, was Sie Mich für Ihre Bedürfnisse verwenden, und mich Ihren fuckhole machen." Master moaned aloud at this, and said "Sag es noch mal, whore." (Say it again, whore) as She pushed Her cock deeper into my pussy. I said it again "Bitte bumsen Sie Master bitte bitte mein Kätzchen. ich sehne mich mehr als irgendetwas, was Sie Mich für Ihre Bedürfnisse verwenden, und mich Ihren fuckhole machen." "Noch mal." She said this again and again, never tiring of this exchange.

i suddenly clenched my pussy as Her cock pushed deeper inside my cunt, and i heard my Master say "Relax. If you clench your ass, it will even hurt more." i tried my best to relax and slowly, centimeter by centimeter, Master pushed Her cock all the way in. She then began to rape me mercilessly, and She loves to do. She fucked me hard and fast with Her cock... ramming it in, and sliding it out, ramming it in, and sliding it out, ram, slide, ram, slide, ram, slide, until i begged Her to stop. She did, but with the warning that i would be raped more and more often, until i could take Her fist.

i opened my eyes that were closed before to take all these feelings of being overwhelmed and raped, and in front of my eyes i saw my pathetic clit. I am really poorly endowed but now this little thing has been shrunk even more. i heard my Master say "Oh! you look so sexy... I've flooded My panties!" She then fingered herself to an explosive orgasm. I heard Her cum very powerfully, and at the same time my genitals had shrunken to a degree that the once tight ring fell off and hit the floor with a bang.

Once Master finished basking in the glow of Her orgasm, She removed all the steel devices from my body and told me to go to the bathroom to get myself cleaned. Afterward she told me that this session was explosive and for the first in in many months, the energy was flowing properly between us.

For the two days she text messaged me to tell me that She couldn't stop thinking about this sessions, and that it was so sexy. I asked her what do you find sexy on a guy that has no cock and no balls. She answered me : "Without cock and balls a man has to find pleasure in servitude, specially sexual servitude. The last session made me incredibly horny, so you served me sexually, but not in a hands on manner. I find that very sexy. "

Too much time on My hands

2010-01-14T12:47:00.002+01:00

Well, I saw whore last Thursday, and our session was fun. I withheld doing a lot of BDSM play with him, as that he has not been in physical training for so long. I wanted to do a lot more with him, but I have to start slowly. Right now it seems like we are going to average seeing each other once every two weeks, and that frustrates Me. I would much rather see him every week.

This month I have too much free time on My hands. Most of My classes do not start until the 2nd week of February, so right now I am teaching two 1 hour classes a week. I am spending a lot of time reading, and frankly I am ready to do something else. I wish d and I could take a short holiday, but that's not in the cards until April during Spring Break. d has this week off, and we have been working in the house, and I am please to say that it is finally coming together. There is a box and a bag in the living room that need to be sorted, and more books have to come down from the attic (as well as My guitar), and then we are finished until we can afford new/used kitchen counters, stove, and cabinets, as well as a new bathroom sink, under-sink drawers, pretty towel racks, and a TP holder. I know, this is not D/s at all, but since that is pretty limited in My life right now, I don't have a lot of things to write about.

Next week I am catching up with My friend tibi for lunch/dinner, and we will be discussing this boy that I have had an interest in for quite some time. I might be calling this boy after tibi and I meet next week, and hopefully something wonderful comes from it.

Cross your fingers.

5 Years

2010-01-06T11:20:00.002+01:00

Five years ago today I married My husband.

Five years ago on Friday we had our wedding.

Today we celebrate part one of our anniversary by baking bread in out brand new bread maker, and going to a New Year's concert here in town.

Friday I am taking My lovely man out to dinner and to see Avatar in Vienna.

I love you, baby!

The fast is over tomorrow

2010-01-06T11:16:00.002+01:00

I have a set appointment to see whore tomorrow at 1600. Woot! It's been much to long, and I really want to use him hard again. Unfortunately I don't think I can do that since he has been out of physical training for 3.5 months. Ugh.

Oh well. I can always dress him like the sissy he is and humiliate the fuck out of him. Yeah, that's sounds like a good plan.

MIA

2010-01-03T14:02:00.002+01:00

I know that I have not been around for quite some time, and for some reason I feel like I should apologize for this. There has just been a lot going on with My life, and none of it D/s, or BDSM... which just sucks.

whore and I have not had a session for a few months now (since October, due to his work, and the holidays, him almost being caught by his spouse, and now with Me living even farther away). It's been really difficult for us both, but right now, I cannot tell you who is missing each other more. I know that I miss having him at My feet, using him, fucking his pussy, humiliating him, torturing him, and everything else that I love to do to him. It's been very difficult for Me to control the Beast with My husband, when I do not have whore to release it on. My husband is beginning to really dislike the Beast. Ha! Maybe he is missing whore even more that I am.

I really think I need to find Myself a submissive plaything. whore is My slave, and will continue in that capacity, because he will never have sex with Me. I need a plaything to have fun with, and have sex with (sex is seriously lacking in My life at the moment due to d (My husband) working mad hours, and then working around the house to get it into order.

Speaking of the house, d and I moved closer to Vienna, which also means we are both closer to work. This is a good thing. The not so great thing is that we moved into a house that is 15 square meter smaller and has only south facing windows (which all face the street). We do have a nice big garden, but have no windows to enjoy the view since the garden is on a hill, and that hill resides at the front of our house. has worked his fanny off making the house a nice place to live, and it's really shaping up. There is still a little more work to do, but that will end up costing more money (kitchen cabinets, a stove, sink, hood, and a new bathroom sink, mirror, cabinets, towel racks, toilet paper holder, new toilet and tank, etc.).

Last night he moved the toilet to the bathroom (it was in what the call a WC - water closet - here), and put on the new lid that I bought (and optical illusion - kind of - iguana... colorful and very cool), and today he is moving the washing machine and dryer to the WC, so I have a dedicated laundry room (I have always hated the toilet being in it's own room, and the washer and dryer being in the bathroom - strange things that Europeans do... like attaching a snow plow to the front of a Suzuki Samurai... ok, so that an Austrian thing. Either way, it's all very strange to Me), siliconing the shower doors, and the toilet, cleaning the kitchen and vacuuming the house (and if there is time, cleaning the microwave (it's yucky).

Why, you may be asking, am I not helping him? Believe Me, I would love to, but I am hobbling around, and in pain (my ankle again... I mean, still). I am seeing an Orthopedist, and getting Cortisone shots, and it I need to have an MRI, and then possibly surgery. As usual, I am not being told what the problem is by the doctor (that's a weird thing about doctors here, it's like they wat to keep secrets from you about your body). I miss being able to help around the house, and I hate being in pain 24/7. I would much rather work in the house than be in pain.

Gawd, I feel like I am whining, so I am going to stop now. I hope everyone is having a good start to the new year.

Oh yeah, one more thing. k, is you are reading this, I want to publicly announce to you that I am not at all interested any more. Please stop emailing, SMSing, and calling Me. Thank you.

... and a Happy New Year!

2010-01-02T09:24:00.001+01:00

Wishing you all a bright and beautiful New Year!

I'll try to get back to posting regularly this year.

Sensual Tuesday - WIC...

2009-11-24T22:30:00.004+01:00

... Women In Charge.

Last time I checked, that's how it's supposed ro be.

Coming along

2009-11-23T11:07:00.003+01:00

I am finally beginning to feel better... slowly, but surely. I don't have anything remotely D/s going on in My life at the moment, so instead I will tell you about the new house.

It's a very small place at 65 square meters, and when I first saw it I thought "What a hole!" Thanks to My husband working his ass off, it is becoming a warm and inviting living space. he has been painting, peeling off wallpaper, priming walls, looking for a kitchen (cabinets, sink, stove, counter, etc.), and will be soon installing the light fixtures and window treatments that I have picked out.

I took a couple of photos yesterday with my mobile of the color of the walls in the bedroom and kitchen. They look darker than they actually are because My camera has no flash. I would have taken proper photos if My camera's battery was not dead (and I had not packed the battery charger, which is now in the attic of the new house).

I will take more photos of wall colors as soon as I can find the battery charger. In the meantime, enjoy these.

The kitchen

The bedroom

Away

2009-11-18T16:46:00.003+01:00

There is too much going on in My life for Me to write here. We are in the process of moving to a new house that we are removating ourselves (well, My husband is renovating it, as I struggle to get healthy again). We are moving in 12 days and there is still so much to do.

I caught a terrible head cold a couple of weeks ago, which mostly cleared up right when I caught the flu. This is the first time I have had the flu in years, and let Me tell you, I am not happy about it. I feel like crap.

Once the move is over, and the house is set up, and I feel better, I will recommence writing here.

Sexy Tuesday - One day late

2009-10-28T11:43:00.004+01:00

I have come down with a miserable cold, and have lost track of what day it is. I missed My Sexy Tuesday post, so I am posting it today.

I love this photo, and more importantly, being in this position. Sometimes there is nothing better than having your legs and feet worshiped.

Mmmm...'Yummy!

There will be a lapse in posting

2009-10-20T18:14:00.003+02:00

I am moving in a week and a half. My husband and I found a much bigger house with a garden, and is 20 minutes north of Vienna. We will have 75% more living space, and a yard for the dogs to run in, as well as a garden to plant herbs, veggies, and flowers in.

Once we move, I will be getting a new rabbit (maybe sooner if I do not get a handle n My grief from losing Greeley), and he will be able to run all over the house.

There is so much packing left, and as of tomorrow, I will be up to My ears in boxes. It's a good thing that My Friday class was cancelled this week (the school is closed), so I can actually get started. I really hate packing last minute, but My husband insisted that we bid on boxes on ebay. This will be the last time My husband will ever be allowed to insist on anything for the rest of his life.

Image Copyright - Dave Shelton

Sexy Tuesdays

2009-10-20T18:09:00.003+02:00

Anyone who knows Me, knows that I love to bite.

I find this photo incredibly sexy... a prelude to sex. The prelude is sometimes better than the sex itself. A Dominant and submissive know this only too well.

In Memory of Greeley

2009-10-11T20:47:00.002+02:00

This is Greeley, he died today. Greeley was My rabbit, and I loved him so very much. He contracted meningitis, which we found out at the vet's this morning. My husband and I were told that he only would live 4 or 5 more days, and he would be suffering. I made the decision to put him to sleep. He was not quite 5 years old.

I will not be writing here for several days.

Greeley, I loved you and love you still, and I will always miss you. Rest is peace My sweet little bunny boy.

Sexy Tuesdays

2009-10-06T09:07:00.004+02:00

The anticipation just before kissing is one of the hottest feelings in the world. This photo shows that all too well.

Plus there is the plastic sheet they are laying on, which makes Me think they said "Painting the walls can wait", or they prepared the bed for some really kinky fun. I'm sticking with the second.

Gotta love plastic sheeting!

Sexy Tuesdays

2009-09-29T12:26:00.003+02:00

Every Tuesday I am going to post a photo, or graphic of something that I find sexy. Today is....

I love the way bodies fit together so perfectly, whether it be a Woman and a man, two Women, or two men. Connection through the sensual arts brings out the best in all of us.

Speaking of sensual arts, I woke My husband up on Sunday morning by queening him, followed with making love. What a perfect way to start a new week.

Swamp creature v. personal slave. Which would you choose?

2009-09-27T12:28:00.005+02:00

Versus
I'm all for the latter.

As you know, I have been searching on and off for four years to fill the position in My life as submissive boyfriend (public)/personal slave (private). It has been a long, and exhausting search thus far, filled with many toads, snakes, and other swamp creatures. I have spoken to so many men in Austria that give Me the song and dance routine that they really want to submit, yet when it comes to actually meeting, they back off, and I never hear from them again. Really, I have seen this routine so many times, that I know it by heart.

I am hoping that things might change with this very soon. I have been speaking to a submissive in Vienna, and we have plans to meet (hopefully this Tuesday). We were supposed to meet on Friday, but I needed to go have My ankle x-rayed (which didn't happen because I was told that I did not need an appointment, and then when I got to the radiologist, I was told that I could not get My ankle x-rayed because I needed an appointment. Needless to say, I will not be going back there.), so I had to cancel.

This man has some experience, and seems really genuine. I am really looking forward to a face to face meeting, and if everything goes well, some playtime. I have a hankering to get My hands on some fresh meat.

I wil hopefully have something positive to report once we meet. Keep checking back for updates.

Puppy Play - Part I

2009-09-12T23:01:00.005+02:00

I attempted to do puppy play with My husband tonight. I had balled up a piece of paper and tossed it away from Me for a game of fetch. he was doing really good as my puppy, and even got the head tilts, big eyes, panting, and butt wiggling right.

Our dogs were in the room (note to self, lock dogs in the other room next time), and each time My husband romped off to fetch the "ball", our youngest would follow him, and then jump backward, away from him, when he brought Me the ball.

The final toss of the evening was when he was bringing Me the ball, and our oldest dog walked up to him and took it right out of his mouth. LOL!

That was it, we were rolling.

This was our first try, and we both had fun. We are definitely doing this again. :)

Photostream

2009-09-10T19:33:00.005+02:00

I have opened up a flickr account, and have uploaded a selection of My favorite graphics on My notebook. It is private, and friends only, so if you would like to view My account, contact Me at http://www.flickr.com/photos/aradia68.

I am always on the prowl for D/s and BDSM graphics, as well as sexy graphics, so if you know of anything, feel free to email Me directly with the attachment. Thanks.

**Addendum - you need a flickr account in order to view My photos.***

Going silver - A non D/s post

2009-08-26T10:53:00.003+02:00

I shaved My head in January of this year because I was sick of coloring it. After fourteen years of coloring My hair, I had no idea what My natural color would be. It was dark blond when I started coloring My hair, and I was rather shocked to see that it had turned brunette and quite a bit of silver in it. Not that I'm complaining... I actually love My hair color more today, than I did all the years I colored it. Go figure.

Since this was on My mind this morning, I figured that I would post the most recent photo I have of Me... this way you all get to see what I look like today.

Liars

2009-08-25T15:49:00.003+02:00

Everything was set up. I was supposed to meet a submissive that showed great potential through email, IM conversations, and telephone conversations. he told Me that I was the only Domina that he was in contact with, and he really wanted to see where things went between us.

This morning I received a text message that he would not be coming because he had an "interview" last night and found someone else.

So... this means he lied to Me.

What is it with people who cannot be honest? I'm honest to a fault and will tell you exactly what I think of you, and if I think that things will work out between your and I. I expect the same from others, and I find Myself constantly let down.

I swear, I am beginning to think that there are no more credible, honest submissives that want a LTR with a Domina who is caring, loving, sensuous, sadistic,and more.

No pleasure without pain

2009-08-24T14:09:00.004+02:00

I had a wonderfully intense session with whore on Friday. After being frustrated with whore all week because his schedule was so erratic… we could not manage to pin a day/time down for session. We were finally able to hook up on Friday (the one day I do not want to session with him). This is what happened.

whore showed up right when My husband and I were about to sit down for dinner. I permitted whore to use the toilet and then I led him to the bedroom.

When whore stepped into the bedroom wearing naught but a pair of black lace panties with light pink trim, he though he knew what was in store for him (I had told him that he was to get his pussy fucked during this session), but in truth he had no idea.

On the foot of My bed I had laid out some of My tools to prepare whore, and to give My husband and I time to eat dinner in peace. I had chains and locks, latex gloves, a condom, a short black dildo, lube, a bit gag, and whore’s chastity device.

First things first, I locked the bit gag in place and told him that I was going to leave him alone in My bedroom, and he was to scream if he got too hot (temperature wise), and I would come and check on him. I then placed a small table fan close to him so that air would circulate (see, I am nice). >:)

I quickly looked up his pathetically tiny clit (after all I have no need for it, and it is completely useless to Me). whore’s words are the following “She treats my genitals like a veterinarian that is examining an animal before castration.” That pretty much sums it up. I have no need for his “Male parts” due to the fact that they are so tiny they can barely be considered male parts).

I donned the latex gloves, slipped the condom on the dildo, lubed it up, and forcefully slide it into his pussy. I am not at all gentle with whore when I do this. It doesn’t hurt, but it is shocking for him. It frustrates Me to no end when he clenches his pussy lips and makes it harder for Me to shove the dildo home. When this happens, more force is necessary, along with the command “Relax your lips whore. It will hurt a hell of a lot more if you don’t.”

Once the black cock was inside his pussy, I had him sit on the floor. whore’s words (again) “was forced to sit down on the plug and felt it moving in deeper.” I then wrapped heavy chain around his ankles and locked them in front of him with one of My OWK locks. I did the same treatment to his wrists, but bound them behind him. I wanted his full weight on the dildo, so he could try focused on it. Hah! I was about to make it impossible for him to focus on it.

Finally I clipped a set of nipple clamps on him. I used the kindest pair that I have, and he still bawled like a baby. Pathetic. I said “you will wait here and get stretched for me while we have dinner", and I walked out of the room shutting the door behind Me.

From whore - “Waiting i tried to change position just a little to relax my muscles, but i didn’t t dare to alter my position cause i am afraid of punishment. i got used to the nipple clamps and the intense pain changed to normal pain. The time seemed endless to me but finally Master opened the door, unchained me, and had Me go to the bathroom to remove the dildo, and clean myself up. I was then to return to Her in the living room”

I was sitting in My desk chair and I had whore stand upright in front of Me. he noticed the forceps on the desk, and I could tell he was starting to worry that I was going to replace the nipple clamps I had just removed with them. Fat chance. he could only be so lucky. I had something in mine much crueler. whore’s words “Suddenly i felt terrible pain on my balls and saw Master fixing the forceps on the skin of my balls. When both forceps were fixed She looked up at me with an evil grin.”

I took the set of OWK locks I had used on him in the bedroom, plus a three more sets, and locked them onto the handles of the forceps. At this point whore was in intense pain… and it was about to get worse. whore’s words “i saw eight locks pulling on my sack down and it looked very pathetic but i didn’t care cause of the intense pain. The pain even intensified when Master began to swing the locks on the forceps to and fro."

"She said with a smirk ‘I guess this is what they mean by swinging balls.' She cruelly laughed at me trying to screaming from pain, but due to the bit gag it only a moaning was audible.”

Now it was time to break out one of My beasties. I got a new strap-on harness while I was in Belgium (props to Mistress A), and I was dying to take it for a ride. I slipped the big red cock I have through the rubber loop, slid the condom on, and lubed it up. I always do this in a seductive manner as I know it drives whore wild. whore’s words “She always does this in very provocative manner, like a real man who feels superior cause of his large cock and his sexual virility. Her eyes have the expression ‘I will fuck you. you will be taken by me.’ She then sat down in Her chair and started to stroke Her cock with a superior smile on Her face.”

I leaned back in My chair and said "Do you want My big red cock, whore? Tell Me, how much do you want My big red cock?" whore tries to beg Me for it, but all that comes out are whimpers around the bit gag. whore’s words “i try to shout ‘Master, yes! Please fuck me now !!’, but i forgot the bit gag and only indecipherable sounds are stumbling are stumbling my mouth.

I tell that pathetic little cock slut of Mine “Turn around and bend over the desk, whore." As always, he follows My command. I spread his legs open the desired width with My foot, and forcibly I enter his dirty little cunt.

whore can tell how much I enjoy it when I open up his pussy with My cock. I am now fucking whore’s cunt, and begin to rape him.

whore’s words “ i feel pleasure in my pussy and heavy pain from the forceps and the locks swinging on my balls. my body and my senses are overwhelmed by the magnitude of attractions that are flooding me. Total surrender, pleasure , being taken by Master, feeling no genitals between my legs only pain, heavy pain.”

Suddenly I pull down the chain connecting the nipple clamps. Whore is crying out from the pain of it through the gag. I growl into his ear “You are only allowed to feel pleasure when there is intense pain at the same time. Now ride my cock show me how much you want it .”

Whore follows My command and rides My cock as fast as he can "Faster whore! Harder whore ", he hears Me from behind, so he tries to intensify his movements. I spank his ass to stimulate him to ride My cock harder still. When I have finished raping whore, I pull out, ,and tell him to move out, and get cleaned up.

Together we walk to the bathroom, the pain on my balls caused by the forceps and locks brings me back to reality. whore’s words “By the time we get to the bathroom, i am blissed out. I sink to me knees and try to worship Her feet and legs through the gag.”

Once I cleaned up My cock and washed My harness, and whore cleaned himself up, we walked back to the living room. I then played “swinging balls” a bit more. I loved watching whore double over each time the weighted forces swung toward the backs of his legs.

Finally, I remove the forceps, yanked off the nipple clamps (you should have heard him scream through the gag!) I then removed the gag, and told whore to get ready to go.

It was over… for now.

Buried Alive!

2009-07-27T01:19:00.002+02:00

Today we went to the coast... of France! Mistress Ali, slave cowie and I actually parked in Belgium, and then walked along the beach into France. It was a bit surreal for a Girl from the States. Everything is so close together here... it's wonderful.

I played in the North Sea (it was actually a bit balmy, strangely enough), swam (Me, the Woman who is phobic about sharks!! Seriously making some breakthroughs here), soaked in the rays, and helped Mistress Ali bury slave cowie in the sand. That was great fun.

We had him buried up to his chest when he finally said something, and that was the he was getting hard from having two Women touching him, even though it was through sand (such a smart ass at times). We laughed at him and told him that We could not see h is erection through the sand, so it was obviously not hard enough. I then decided to fashion him an anatomically (albeit ridiculously small) penis out of sand. It ended up being off center, but it was still pretty funny.

We continued to bury slave cowie all the way up to his head (I accidentally got sand in his right ear. Just a little, but an oops anyway). Mistress Ali and I figured that since We had given a tiny dick, We would give endow him with a pair of amazingly large breasts. These were very much cone shaped, and I topped them with broken seashell nipples.

Mistress Ali and I laughed, and laughed, and laughed at what We had created - it look pretty damn amusing - and got Our cameras out and started snapping photos. slave cowie moaned in delight at having two spectacular Dominas standing over him and using him like an object. I think this has been one of the few times where he has been fully objectified (Please correct Me if I am mistaken, Mistress Ali).

Hope you enjoy the photos as much as Mistress Ali and I enjoyed burying this boy.

Miracle

2009-07-12T18:43:00.005+02:00

A miracle entered my life the Sunday before last. My boy.

He originally planned to stay a few days, but it stretched into 5 and a half days. During this time we played, we loved, we hugged, we kissed, and we talked. Oh, how we talked! Most nights we would not be in bed until after 0200, and one night (morning) it was 0830 before we finally crashed. We opened ourselves up to one another... completely, with no holds barred.

Originally I was hoping to have a fun time with my boy, and making a new friend, but I ended up with something so much more.

I met another mate of my soul. We have known each other before, and we will know each other for all time. We share an intense connection that mere time cannot diminish.

We will see each other again... maybe this year, or next. I hope sooner, rather than later (I miss him).

This is for you, my boy... My very own personal miracle.

I'm one of them

2009-07-05T10:15:00.003+02:00

This is who I am.

I cannot read the author of this piece , and would like to know it. If any of you know the author, I'd appreciate a comment letting Me know.

New boy

2009-07-05T10:07:00.004+02:00

A new boy arrives in My home today, and he will be serving Me for two weeks. One of the things that is interesting about this boy is that is is a complete newbie. Those of you that know Me week enough, know that I do not play with newbies, as My level of playing demands some prior experience of a sub.

new boy knows he wants to be humiliated, and he is just as sure that he will not like pain. I am going to try to change his mind by mixing pain with pleasure. Of course he will have a safe word to use, as he has not played with Me before.... that is paramount.

new boy will be here in a few hours, and the husband, and I still have a bit of work to finish in the house.

I will try to write about how things are progressing from time to time, over the next week.

The Board

2009-06-07T09:14:00.002+02:00

I wanted to let you all know that I have created a group on FetLife called The Board. The Board is an offshoot of the now defunct Female Led Relationships Board.

I welcome you to join and participate on The Board. I look forward to seeing you there.

Shatter - © May 2006

2009-06-03T21:58:00.002+02:00

i yearn
i crave
i want
i need
fill me up with your essence
i’m drunk on my power
i hunger
i burn
i ache
i desire
touch me with your hands, your mouth
glide my body over yours, into mine
i tremble
i quake
i arch
i lust
slow thrusts to hard rapid thrusts
until i explode around you
i shatter

Thoughts from the road - Part I

2009-05-26T12:42:00.003+02:00

This is from a couple of weeks ago. I recorded it for My blog, so that you get to see yet another side of Me. Enjoy.

Thoughts from the road - Part II

2009-05-26T10:34:00.004+02:00

Here is the second half. :)

Playlist

2009-05-25T16:58:00.003+02:00

You want to know the songs that turn Me on, send Me to Dommespace, and keep Me there? Well, here you go...

Justify My Love - Madonna
If God Will Send His Angels - U2
Never Again - Kelly Clarkson
Don't Cha - Pussycat Dolls
Sexyback - Justin Timberlake
4 Minutes - Madonna featuring Justin Timberlake
Mony Mony - Billy Idol
Uninvited - Alanis Morissette
I Kissed a Girl - Katy Perry
Wicked Game - Chris Isaak
Not Ready to Make Nice - Dixie Chicks
My Happy Ending - Avril Lavigne
Baby Did a Bad Bad Thing - Chris Isaak
Down With the Sickness - Disturbed
Feelin' Love - Paula Cole
Always - Bon Jovi
Midnight in Montgomery - Alan Jackson
Fever - Sandra Nasic
Closer - NIN
Erotica - Madonna
Mercy - Duffy
Kiss - Prince
U and Ur Hand - Pink
Sadeness (Part 1) - Enigma
Frozen - Madonna
The Signal - Sandra Nasic
Sway - Pussycat Dolls
Master and Servant - Depeche Mode
Cream - Prince
Drive - Cars
Butterfly - Crazy Town
Relax - Frankie Goes to Hollywood
Hurt - Johhny Cash

A picture says a thousand words

2009-05-25T14:03:00.002+02:00

The ones that readily come to My mind are "I really need one of these in My life."

Careless Whispers

2009-05-08T22:16:00.007+02:00

Okay, okay, I admit it... I am terrible at keeping up with My blog. I really should carve out a time every week where I write.

On a completely different note, I had a fun, and almost pain free session with whore last week. I dressed whore in her black satin corset, laced tightly enough that the boning on each side touched from top to bottom, a pair of black net Victoria's Secret panties, her short black wig, black fishnet stockings with pink thigh band, black heels, and a new collar that I got her (to symbolize that she is My gyrl - the new contract still being fleshed out). Underneath this was a chastity device and an anal plug. I twisted and tweaked her nipples, scratched and clawed at her back, shoulders and arms, and tortured her with lightly scraping My nails over her skin (she jumps like a 6 years old playing skip rope).

Then I suddenly realized that I was not really in a physically sadistic mood, so I changed gears and fed the Beast another way... Hardcore verbal humiliation. (Just a warning to those of you about to continue reading, there is one word in particular that might offend you. Hell, it offends Me, but I love using it on whore.)

I had whore on her knees, facing Me, and pulled her head toward My chest. I gently placed My lips by her ears and whispered "you're a fucking filthy faggot, do you know that?" A sharp inhalation of breath by whore, followed by a slow, deep exhale "Yes, Master." I feel a happy little hum buzz through whore's body as I start to humiliate her.

I use words like bitch, whore, slut, useless, worthless, pathetic, cum dump, urinal. whore repeats My words back to Me, "Yes, Master, I am a useless, pathetic, worthless slut for cum and urine." I love hearing her string words together that I am humiliating her with.

I moved forward with taking whore into a very deep humiliation fantasy.

I grab whore by the ears and pull her face between My breasts, and carelessly whisper into her ears, "I let you wear a chastity device even I though I know you are impotent. You are a dirty, little faggot. A dirty, little fuck. Tell Me what you are, whore."

From whore's lips a whisper breaks loose on a moan "i am dirty, little faggot. A dirty, little fuck, Master.

I growl into whore's ear "That's right whore. That's what you really are.

you are not a man, even if you pretend to be one, you can never satisfy a real Woman with the little raisin between your legs.

What you are whore?"

"i 'm not a man, though I pretend to be one. i know that i will never be able satisfy a real Woman with the little raisin between my legs," moans whore.

I lower My voice, where whore has to strain to hear My words "Yes, that's what you really are, whore. A dirty, little, piece of shit. A filthy whore, completely worthless... useless to anyone.

you're a cock sucker, and a cum swallower. you're a complete, and total loser. That's what you are.

Tell Me what you are, whore."

she cries out "i'm a dirty fucking piece of shit. A filthy whore, completely worthless to anyone. Useless to anyone. i'm a cock sucking cum swallower. i'm a loser, Master."

"That's right, whore. you are a cum dump and a piss dump for real men." I bite the words out that follow...

"If I could, I would have you castrated, and remove your tiny raisin dick. you would live in a cage. I would put you on female hormones. you would be totally shaved and tattooed as my slave.

"you are a fucking urinal for real men. your destiny is to suck cocks of real men, and swallow their cum, and piss.

"you are just a cock loving, cum hungry whore. you love sucking cock ,and you love getting fucked by real men, you dirty little, useless faggot, sissy whore.

I yank whore's head back by his hair, and spit in his face. "Speak the words out loud, whore. What are you!?"

whore drops his eyes, audibly moans, and says clearly "i'm a urinal for real men. It's my destiny to suck cocks of real men, and swallow their cum, and piss. i'm a cock loving, cum hungry whore. i love sucking cock ,and i love getting fucked by real men. i'm a dirty little, faggot, a sissy whore." she end this on a completely defeated, yet exhilirated tone.

whore's whole body was tremblling in complete, and utter arousal. It took much longer to come down from subspace. Slime was dripping from his chastity device.

You all know whore is more, or less totally emasculated, so it's almost impossible for him to cum. I have found a way to milk him mentally.

Poor whore... no orgasm... just a little dribble of pre cum.

Here, and gone again...

2009-04-30T16:12:00.004+02:00

That's right, I am leaving once more. No, no, not for three weeks this time, just three days. My husband and I heading off for a three day weekend to Budapest (actually just outside Budapest, in Balaton). Whee!! I hope to go to the Rudas Spa while there... pictured below.

On two totally unrelated notes to this post, whore was punished quite severely on Monday of this week. he was placed in a humbler, hung in My door frame and flogged with a three tiered rubber paddle and My roo single tail. he was punished for being selfish, and thinking about his needs before Mine. I really hate punishing, as it takes away enjoyment of activities I normally love (like a good flogging), so let's hope whore doesn't mess up again.

I finally got a chance to play with My girlfriend this week. It was sexually supercharged, interspersed with lots of giggling. My sweet girl is a beauty with soft, round curves on a short little frame, with long dark locks and twinkling dark brown eyes. Just picture it, two naked women rolling around on My bed... sooo much fun!

That's if from Me for now... I will post again when I return.

Constant Craving

2009-04-17T16:40:00.004+02:00

After a three week hiatus, I am back, and seriously jonesing for a session with whore, and My new girlfriend (we have met and hung out together, but are playing for the first time, the week after next).

With whore, I am fully ready to release My inner Sadist, and inner rapist on his ass. I am craving to go full tilt on him, hurting him, humiliating the fuck out of him, and raping him. It have been damn near four weeks since I have used My whore, and I have missed him. I'm going to show him just how much on Monday of next week.

I'm not giving the 411 on My girlfriend as of yet. I want to see how well we play. Then maybe, if you're good, I'll tell you all about her.

In the meantime, Spring has seriously sprung here in Austria, and I hope that it comes to all of you soon!!

Hiatus

2009-04-04T21:08:00.001+02:00

Just to let you all know, I am on a hiatus through April 16th, and hopefully I will see whore soon after that, as the Beast needs to be fed quite desperately.

My mom is here and I really have to keep her away from My blog (even though she knows about Me, my photos of whore would freak her the hell out).

Please be patient, I will be back. In the meantime, take care of yourselves.

Fun and Interesting

2009-03-14T20:26:00.004+01:00

These are from My last session with whore. I pulled out all of My clothespins and made him a clothespin skirt... Cute, huh?

Though with his rounded belly (bad whore! I am still waiting for you to lose that weight), I could not get more clothespins on that area. I am planning on getting more clothespins this week, so I can make a longer skirt for him to wear.

Since I ran out of elastic skin there, I decided to move on up to his nipples, and then to his face. I have a full face shot, but will not share it here to protect whore's anonymity. It's pretty damn hysterical how pathetic he looked.

Then I moved on to his ears (very short period of time), and made him Dumbo.

I have to admit that I love having a slave that I can do just about anything to. whore's main hard limit is marks (I hate that!)... he has more, but since they align with Mine, I have no issues with them. For the most part, whore is a no limit sissy slave... which pleases the hell out of Me.

Show and Tell

2009-02-28T09:40:00.003+01:00

Had a fun session with whore yesterday. There was some humiliation, ball kicking, My feet on his chest, nipple torture, dildo play, and some play with My feet on his chest. Finally I forced him to cum, and it was so difficult for him... I loved watching him suffer trying to dribble cum.

I videoed part of it to share with you. Enjoy! I know I did.

Stood up

2009-02-26T20:46:00.004+01:00

What the heck is it with boys that don't show up? It so bloody frustrating. I had a new boy call Me on Monday from My pro ad and request a session today at 2 p.m. Guess what? he was a no show. I was dressed in full fetish wear, with My makeup and hair done, and then 2:30 p.m. rolled around and there was no slave at My feet.

Also, a TV responded to My ad for men to come and use whore, and requested to use him. So the plan was set for tomorrow. Now this guy will not show up, I'm sure of it. he was given My phone number to call Me for the address, and there has not been a phone call. I sent a message to him today, and still, no call.

It's frustrating, yet predictable. Last week a fabulous TV came to use whore, and this week is bullshit. Always happens this way... no idea why it aggravates Me, I should be used to it by now.

Thank you for reading, I will now return you to the regularly scheduled program.

Two gyrls, One Master

2009-02-21T11:12:00.009+01:00

OMG, Thursday evening was fantastic!! whore and I had a bi-sexual transvestite come to visit us. This session ended up being so much more than abut whore being fucked by another man. Normally its wham, bam, thank you, Ma'am, and the guy is gone.

This time the ambience was female, sensual, sexual, and hot, hot, hot! I got to play the voyeur in this scene, and I have to admit that I loved it. ;) It was akin to watching a tranny couple get it on. There was french kissing (and I cannot stress how arousing this was to watch), caressing, stroking, fondling, nipple sucking, cock sucking, and of course, fucking. It amuses Me that the kissing got Me off the most. I about flooded My trousers when that was going on.

Here are the photos (permission was granted) from this session. I really hope you enjoy them, as much as I did taking them.

Here is one of whore in the throes of passion.

Oh! I received an email from this gyrl, and she would like to make this a regular thing. whore really needs this, and since I enjoy it so much, the three of us will be getting together as often as possible.

Thursday was also the day that My status changed with whore. Since whore is the gyrl of our relationship, I have become her Master. We have switched gender roles, and this suits our relationship. I plan on writing up a new contract that reflects this. whore has been asking Me for a new contract for some time, and with the defined role reversal, I think it's time.

On for this evening

2009-02-19T14:29:00.000+01:00

I have a bi crossdresser coming over to use whore tonight. The play is not set in stone, but I am hoping for some fun things to take place. I will try to get this man's permission to take photos, and if I can, I will be posting them by this weekend.

whore on being broken

2009-02-18T18:10:00.004+01:00

my Mistress considers me a broken male and i know in Her eyes i am not male any more but a pathetic sissy. Sometimes i am musing how could this heavy transformation happen to me without realizing the dramatic changes. When i met my Mistress 2 years ago even in our very first session i saw that She could push me into subspace within only few minutes. When i am in this state of mind i become very archaic in my behavior, i am not even able to answer simple questions. It is a kind of trance where i only follow the commands of my Mistress without any hesitation. She recognized that i have a deep seated need for humiliation, degradation and objectification.

From the beginning Mistress always had Her way with me and She showed and there was no way out for me even when i begged for mercy. Now retrospective i see that i was systematically de-maled. In the early sessions i underwent heavy anal training. In the beginning of every session Mistress shove a butt plug up my ass. Sometimes She stuffed me with an inflatable butt plug and expanded it till i was crying for mercy.

By hindsight i think that permanent and forcibly anal penetration with large plugs weakens and finally destroys the male personality. In the beginning Mistress frequently let me to perform forced masturbation, and i realized that She was not pleased when there was quite a lot of cum squirting out of my dick. i had to swallow every drop of my own cum. In the beginning out of a paper cup, then from my hand and in the end from the wooden floor.

The most arousing form of anal training is when Mistress puts on Her Strap-on. She really likes to fuck me till i am whimpering from pain and pleasure. She does it like some kind of rapist and i feel absolutely subdued by Her and i think this was one of the most effective methods to strip me of my manhood. i began more and more to enjoy sensation of being fucked as the only pleasure i was allowed by my Mistress.

Parallel to anal training Mistress began to torture my dick and my tits. Being no masochist that was really hard for me to endure. But the pain drew off the intention from the heavy changes that were happening with me. i am very small endowed but in the beginning i always had an erection cause i was very aroused. With heavy CBT due to clothespines, clamps etc., i saw my dick shrink to its absolute minimum size.

i am rather small endowed and Mistress told me that She finds my dick is much too small to satisfy a real woman. Before a session i really was afraid of what would happen to me, and my dick shrank in some kind of premature obedience to its absolute minimum size. Now i was regularly humiliated cause of my pathetic small dick and Mistress told me that i am no real man. When She puts on Her strap-on, She shows me how much bigger Her cock was. i was trained to worship all kinds of dildos and the form of large cock or a dildo makes me feel inferior.

i was so occupied with all the pain i had to endure that i didn't notice that i hardly ever had an erection during a session. Then i had to wear a chastity device but it was of no use cause i stayed limp anyway all the time. At this time Mistress began to feminize me, i had to dress like a street hooker, my name was changed from from submale a to whore. Mistress told me that it has always been my destiny to become a whore.

She regularly lets me worship fer feet and trained me so that i could finally swallow Her whole forefoot. When i sucked Her big toe She told me suck it like a dick. Now She began to train me for cock sucking with all kinds of dildos in different sizes. i was informed that from now on She would train me non consensual means that i had no rights of obligations (RACK). i saw no big difference because She always made Her decisions on Her own.

She told me that She wants me to serve other man orally and anally as a whore and pleasure slave. Ads were placed on different forums in which i was offered for free as anal and oral whore. Mistress informed me that a couple had shown interest. The man wants to be sucked off and the Lady wants to have Her first fuck with a strap-on on me.

i was very exited before the session, Mistress applied a full make on my face, i had to wear a wig and my sluttiest dress. i was waiting and saw a very attractive couple coming in the lady was dressed in tight black leather. i was completely aroused and i was the ultimate humiliation when Mistress lifted my mini skirt and showed them my limp dick saying "as you can see this is of absolutely no use."

i began to suck the guy while my Mistress was talking with the lady about fucking me with the strap-on. While i was giving head, the lady penetrated me from behind. i felt stuck on two cocks and moved back and forth. The lady asked several times why i couldn't get an erection. But i didn't know myself. Yes i had been chaste now for a rather long time maybe some months i didn't know exactly. i thought it is maybe only a single incident. Mistress was quit satisfied with the outcome of the session but i really had second thoughts if something is wrong with me.

During the following session therefore i was more focused on my dick and i saw that i am i a state of constant leakage that means that small drops of cum were dripping out of my limp dick or clitty (how my Mistress calls it). In one of the next sessions Mistress forced me to masturbate kneeling in front of Her. In the beginning i was euphoric because i was not allowed to cum for a very long time. When i realized that my clitty stayed limp although i wanked like mad. i heard the voice of my Mistress "cum for Me whore, quickly."

i got nervous cause i knew that i had to expect cruel punishment i saw my clit even shrink that much that i only needed my thumb and my index finger to rub it. i saw a cruel smile on the face of my Mistress, again i heard Her voice "come for Me whore." i simply could feel anything than pain from heavy rubbing on my clitty and i wanted to give up. Finally i managed it somehow that a few drops of cum were dripping out of my limp clitty. i licked them up from the wooden floor and swallowed it.

i looked into my Mistress face and to my surprise She looked not angry, but satisfied. With a smile She said "I prefer you staying limp all the time, I want you to lose all you male qualities." i sat on the floor feeling ultimate pathetic and humiliated but it took time until i realized what She meant.

It took some time time till i could get familiar with the changes that have happened. i was used by different men orally and anally. i got addicted to sucking cocks and to get fucked in my male pussy. When a man exposes his cock i fall into subspace at once and i feel the strong need to suck him off.

The strange thing was although i behaved like a pathetic cock loving sissy whore, my brain didn't accept this changes. So Mistress had a session with me where She wrote with dark pink lipstick everything that She calls me during a session:

nasty
slut
greedy bitch
useless
whore
cunt
fuckhole
scum
cum swallower
pathetic
piece of shit
cock sucker
sissy
broken

The strange thing even i can t get hardly ever get hard any more i feel always horny to get used by real men. it is not male horniness. i feel like a prisoner that waits to be released by a cock, but the feeling comes again after a short time. So i have to beg Mistress to find me men to use me..

The Weekly Spleen - Week of 19.02.2009 - Male Centric Society

2009-02-17T11:56:00.003+01:00

Brought over from a post of Mine on FL...

Women in general are very bitchy toward each other, or behind each others backs.

There have been too many times in My life when a Woman that I thought was My friend turned turncoat.

For Me it started in high school. I was the butt of the rumor mill in My high school. Everything rumor under the sun was spread about Me, and they were started by a girl that was My first friend in New Mexico when we moved there in My junior year. She got together with another girl ad started spreading filth about Me. I cannot count the number of times I was approached by classmates asking Me if I was pregnant, gay, had AIDS... You name it, it was said about Me. And get this, I was a virgin still when I left high school.

I ended up hating the last two years of high school because of this. I have never been to a reunion because I have no desire to see My classmates again.

Women call each other bitch, slut, cunt, twat, and all sorts of other negative names. This is no way to build each other up, to help each other stay strong and powerful. The longer Women do this, the longer We will have to live in a male centric society.

It is only when we cast off the chains that have been placed upon us by society, and we stand for each other, and we build each up, rather than tear each other down, will things change. I wish more Women could see this, and live this. It is past time that we live in a human centric society. It is only by embracing ourselves and each other will that happen.

Feel free to vent your spleen!!

On using whore

2009-02-15T13:27:00.001+01:00

whore and I had a session in January with a male dom and his slave girl come over to use him. That session was great for whore, but less than stellar for Me. The only thing I got out of that relationship is the understanding that I now want a slave girl of My own to play with.

I realized during that session that the reason I have been so uncomfortable with whore being used by male doms is simply the fact that I don't like the ego that the male doms bring with them. I don't like them giving commands to My slave... at all. Mind you, I have no issues with a fellow Domina using him... I actually enjoy that.

We have an ad on a swingers site that needs to updated. I only want whore to be used by kinky men, or by submissive men. I know I would enjoy forced bi scenes. I want men to tell whore how they like to be sucked off, so he learns different methods of giving head. I want men to come and fuck his pussy the way it needs t be fucked. I just don't want those men to be doms.

Broken

2009-02-15T13:12:00.008+01:00

nasty
slut
greedy bitch
useless
whore
cunt
fuckhole
scum
cum swallower
pathetic
piece of shit
cock sucker
sissy
broken

whore is broken... finally. his daily emails to Me reflect that. We had a session last week where I wrote many of the words that he is, all over his body.

In the next few days I am going to have whore compose an essay on being a broken male, a slave to delights of providing sexual pleasure to men.

How Deep Is Your Love?

2009-02-15T13:08:00.002+01:00

I promise to write something in the next couple of days, and I have some new photos to share with you. But for now, this was brought to My attention and made Me laugh today.

Mini Movie

2009-02-08T15:53:00.005+01:00

I was going though some of the graphics that I have saved on My notebook, and I feel like sharing some of My favorites with you. The music selection is Cream by Prince... one of the songs on My Dommespace song list.

Enjoy!

V-Day

2009-02-07T13:35:00.002+01:00

Who will send Me a Valentine this year, I wonder?

Get your own valentinr

I am looking forward to seeing who My secret Valentine's are this year.

Craving strap-on play & fakers

2009-02-04T14:53:00.003+01:00

My whore is sick this week, and I am so craving to use My strap-on. It's times like these that it would be helpful to have more than one slave serving Me. Yes, it's true, I have my husband, but I simply can't put him through strap-on play because he loathes it.

On another subject, I have this boy that comes in and out of My life like a bad penny. This has been going on for four years now, and you would think that I know better by now, and would kick him out of My life for good. The problem is that I have feelings for him, and he knows this after the last go round, and now I think he is using those feelings to play Me even harder. This is simply not shit that I want in My life. So, k, if you are reading this, either you are in, or you are out. Decision time for you. Make your choice once and for all. If you are in, then follow through to the end of where this takes us. If you are out, then don't contact Me again for any reason. Give Me a break once and for all, as I need to move on with My life.

For Thomas

2009-01-29T17:15:00.001+01:00

Much love!!

The song in My head tonight

2009-01-28T21:26:00.005+01:00

No idea why, but here it is...

Hurt

Do clothes really make the Domina?

2009-01-21T18:08:00.004+01:00

I still say no. Dominance comes from the inside, but is sure is a lot of fun to dress Dommy. Take a look!

Finally, one Me with My pathetic sissy slut, whore.

In Celebration of Piercing

2009-01-21T17:52:00.006+01:00

Here are a number of shots that were taken during My last session with whore. he was pierced on Tuesday as a sign of My ownership of him, and we celebrated by...

Me giving him some new sissy clothes

A flogging

Sucking My heels

Using him as an ottoman

he's such a sexy little sissy!

The Shaving

2009-01-16T13:44:00.002+01:00

Yes, I know the title sounds potentially sexual, but it's really not.

I shaved My head Wednesday of this week. There were many reasons for it, which included getting rid of all hair coloring, not wanting to color My hair anymore. the fact that I have not see My natural color for 13 years, ease of getting ready in the mornings, and a ritualistic shaving of off of bad habits in My life.
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I feel lighter, happier, and ready to take on the world (even if our post lady laughed at my hair, My primary and I both know that she's a stupid woman). Also, I feel incredibly sexy. I can definitely pull off this style. The only real surprise I received from shaving My head was how much grey I have. Funnily enough, I really like the grey.

I am posting two different types of pics here. One of the everyday Me with a shaved head, and two of the feral side of Me.

Everyday

Feral

The Offering

2009-01-13T12:37:00.002+01:00

I discovered while Mistress A and slave c were here that My primary (husband) actually enjoyed being smacked by Mistress A. Because of this, I have offered him up to My friend T's girlfriend, who is a Sadistic bottom.

I mentioned this to My primary two days ago and he exclaimed "But, I'm not a masochist!" Well, this is true, but he gets off when other Women play with him, so he is still being offered. Besides which, I will enjoy watching him suffer a bit.

The photo is not My primary, but his ass is just as great.

Forceps & Locks

2009-01-10T12:12:00.004+01:00

I am a deviant. But of course, you know that if you have read My blog. My twisted imagination comes up with new way to torture boys. I am usually "in the moment" when I come up with creative, mean ways to make a boy hurt.

For instance, I had a session with whore on Thursday. The first session of 2009. I had him put on his fishnet stockings and black heels, and kneel at My feet. The first order of business was to punish him for a couple of infractions (with My new canes from Mistress A & slave c). he hates the canes, so they are a great way to punish him. he felt well and truly contrite after I had finished with him.

I then walked to My toy trunk and retrieved My black cling film, and proceeded to wrap whore from shoulders to knees in the stuff (his arms were bound to his sides with the cling film as well). From there I cut holes for his nipples to show through, and a hole for his pathetic little clitty. Then it was time for Me to hurt him.

I took clamped My forceps to his nipples, and covered his clitty in clothes pegs (20 pegs). I then started to twist and turn the forceps on whore's nipples left and right, causing him to scream in pain. His screams just made Me laugh. I was without mercy that day (as I am most days), and him screaming just spurred Me on to hurt him more. The Beast was out and enjoying Herself.

A single taper was lit and whore's shoulders were waxed. A perfectly burning taper leaving tiny little dots of wax, and small, thin drips down his chest, under the cling film. whore whimpering and moaning at My feet. I did a little fire play with him, and kept bringing the flame right up against his skin, but not touching it. The fear in his eyes was indescribable. It just lit Me up (no pun intended).

Stopping the twisting for a moment, I rummaged through My padlocks to find just the right ones for what I thought of next. When I found My OWK locks, I placed 6 on each handle of the forceps. The weight was almost unbearable for whore, and he kept begging for mercy, but as I mentioned before, I was out of mercy. I started to swing the forceps back and forth on his nipples. The locks clanking together was a sweet melody to My ears. Hearing whore scream for mercy was a symphony.

I finally got him to the point where he said his safe word, and then I stopped. I removed the clothes pegs, and the forceps, cut through the cling wrap, and had him go clean up.

I did manage to take photos of this session, so you can see what whore went through at My hands.

It was a fabulous session, and we both very much enjoyed ourselves. Next week, he will be taken by a real man, while I watch and play photographer.

The Weekly Spleen

2009-01-07T20:34:00.002+01:00

I am borrowing the title of this entry from the group that I belong to on FetLife, The Sisterhood. The weekly spleen is about venting your gripes and bitches for the week. I have decided to do the same here. Most will not be BDSM or D/s related, but about My life. Mind you, there will be D/s and BDSM vents as well.

So, My spleen for the week is labels. I hate labels, and I hate being labeled. I am a Dominant, and call Myself a Domina, as well as Mistress to whore. I don't want to have to deal with adding all the other little quirks about Me to what I am. I like to keep things simple.

I just think it is so stupid when people add all the little things to who they are, for instance... Sadistic Goddess Mistress Bitch with Attitude from Hell. No, I don't know anyone who goes by that name, it's just an example.

I just do not get why people have to add so many characteristics to who they are. To Me it shows insecurity on part of the person writing all that nonsense about themselves.

That's it. I have no more to add.

Dressing the part...

2009-01-06T20:25:00.003+01:00

I have always maintained that I do not like dressing up for sessions. Up until recently, this has been true. Th9ings are changing with Me now, an I crave the feel of leather, latex and pvc against My skin, the extra height heels can give Me (even though I can only stand in them for a little while), corsets, stockings, and gloves. This is posing a problem for Me, as that I have very (and I mean very) little in the way of "Domina clothes", and since My classes have been cut to two a week, I simply do not have any extra money to purchase the clothing and accessories that I want.

It's all very frustrating. I see shoes, and Dommy type clothes, and I lust after them.

I would love to find a sub that wants to buy Me clothes... where to find one though... well, one that is for real, and not a fake (been there, done that). I suppose I can place an ad on the local BDSM website and see if I get any hits.

That's it, I just felt like blogging about this new desire of Mine.

Over the Holidays

2009-01-04T13:26:00.003+01:00

We had Mistress A and slave c visiting us for My 40th birthday, and Christmas. My husband was in service mode, as was slave c. It was really nice to have the boys waiting on Mistress A and I. We had the cooking and cleaning done by the boys, we went sightseeing, Mistress A conquered some of Her fears, and I managed to freak Her out a bit with a deck of Tarot cards that I bought for Her about two years ago. I have the tendency, as do all the Women in My family to buy things that I know are not for Me, with the knowledge that they are for someone else when the timing is right. This time it was for Mistress A, though at the time, I did not know that. I discovered it while She and her slave were here.

We had a session with whore and slave c, while My sub-hub was outside doing grunt work. We worked slave c over, and had whore suck him off to completion and swallow his cum, as well as rim him. Mistress A and I dubbed slave c "dumb bitch", so We had "stupid whore", and "dumb bitch" to play with.

I got to play with the new toys that Mistress A and slave c got Me for My birthday and Christmas.... a set of forceps, new canes, a floppy (a three tiered rubber slapper), and a hand made cat-o-nine that I simply love (it's a heavy bitch, but wonderful to use). whore got to experience all of them, but the canes. Mistress A and I ganged up on slave c and double flogged him, and double floppy'd him (he hates the floppy). I wish We would have played more with slave c while they were here, but I am happy with the knowledge that I get to play with them during Spring vacation when I go to visit them for a week.

I worked slave c over early in December while he was in Austria for business. The photos I am posting are from that day. Mistress A and I were on such a high that We both forgot to take photos of Our Double session.

As for other news, I am starting to semi-pro Domme again. I have a couple of men that I am very interested in, and the feeling is mutual. I am hoping that I get to see both of them very soon.

I should be seeing whore sometime during the next week. I am in the mood for a serious Sadistic session, and I am jonesing to leave marks (but I know that I can't, and sometimes that is really annoying). I can cause whore extreme pain without leaving marks... which I will do.

I will be trying to post more often here. For a while I had blog burnout, but I think that is finally passing. Yea!

Short thought on humuliation.

2008-11-17T16:18:00.003+01:00

I love using verbal humiliation and degradation. The heavier, darker, and crueler it is, the more I like it.

I humiliate and degrade My whore to no end. The uglier I get with him, the deeper he goes into subspace. After a session with heavy humiliation, we are both flying high on endorphins.

I love humiliation and degradation!! I can't use it on all slaves, since it takes a slave with a strong sense of self to be able to handle what I dish out, and come back and ask for more.

** Artwork - Humiliation by D.Branchaud

Red Rope Chest Bondage & Electro Play

2008-11-17T15:46:00.002+01:00

Let's start out by saying I want more rope. I finally got around to using this bondage rope, and I have to say that I just do not like it. I am going to find some hemp rope. Scratchy and causes discomfort... perfect!

The goal was to tie whore's pathetically tiny cock between the backs of his legs, bind his arms behind his back, and then tie him tightly around his chest and legs. Well, his cock would not stay put, and the red rope kept slipping. It pissed Me off, so I made whore hurt himself in order to please Me.

I used My small electro play set and plugged his ass with a stainless steel dildo, and hooked the electrodes to it. I then played with the buttons until I found the measure of discomfort I was looking for. I was satisfied when whore started lightly moaning.

Now came the fun part. I put nipple clamps on him, and started to pull. I was not happy with the reaction, so I decided to physically humiliate him by putting the chain between his teeth and made him pull the clamps on his nipples. That was just too much fun! It was a very painful session for him, and a fun one for Me.

Ah, the rope marks. Those I adore!

This week, whore will be fucked by at least one man, and possibly two. There will be pain and verbal humiliation included. I have to say, I am looking forward to this week.!!

Tips and Toes

2008-11-16T15:53:00.002+01:00

Just some photos of what My tips and toes look like today.

Full Weight Trampling

2008-11-16T15:31:00.002+01:00

Two weeks ago I had a session with whore where I trampled him with My full weight. This is the second or third time I have done this with My pathetic sissy slut.

In case you don't know, My weight is not insignificant. I am a 5'10 Woman with all the curves that comes with My frame. I am Rubenesque, and happy of it. With My build, and My muscles, I am able to restrain a slave with My hands, arms and legs, which I adore.

When I trample a slave, he feels it. I know where to step, and for how long, so My slaves are never in danger. I love to scare slaves by moving around a bit when I trample... just a little bit of a mind-fuck with some full weight trampling. I have to admit, I love a slave to have some fear of Me.

whore had a mid-range paddling and flogging before the trampling. You can see his ass is just a bit red. It was a lot more red before I got around to getting My camera.

Here I start trampling whore. It was a delight to hear his sharp intake of breath when I first stepped on him. he was completely unprepared, as I did not tel him what I had in mind (I never do, and he is really good with just flowing through a session).

Here is another slight trampling pose. I wish I would have had My primary at home that day, and he could have gotten some full shots of Me trampling My whore.

Maybe next time... or maybe I will just use a tripod.